As an introvert with social anxiety, it's really hard sometimes to share what's going on in my life, how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, or even just what art I'm making. It's easy to hide away in my studio when life gets a little too crazy and say nothing. This post in particular is a tough one for me to make, but I think being more transparent about who I am like this is a step in the right direction, so here goes nothing...

In 2010, I made this self-portrait with charcoal in a University of Central Florida drawing class. At the time, I saw this drawing only for its flaws. I mean, I stayed up all night drawing, erasing, and re-drawing my mouth over and over again, but I just couldn't get it right. After many hours, I gave up, something I never do when it comes to art projects.

The next morning I went to class, feeling defeated and embarrassed, not only by having to turn in an incomplete drawing, but also because this was the first artwork I ever made of me shirtless. I nervously opened up my giant 36" x 24" newsprint drawing pad to this piece, and to my surprise, the class and the professors loved it!

Now when I look at this drawing, the meaning just explodes off the page. It's like a visual representation of the anxiety and frustration I was feeling while creating this piece and also having to show it to others.

On a deeper level, It shows how hard it is for me to express myself with words, but at least I can always SHOW how I feel! Art, for me, means being able to communicate messages that I'm still learning myself. It means having a voice without having to say anything at all. In a lot of ways, sharing my art with you all the time is as revealing for me as taking my shirt off.